hmmm... still in vanessa's house. daylight savings started today! omg i wasted an hour of my sunday :( oh well. nothing i can do about it. goin to town in a bit. i might have to head back once i get to town though. got the maths class at the uni and i've got so much hw and revision to do that its not funny anymore. i'd better start getting serious about my work and stuff... i mean, i really need to start studying hard for my exams. i don't want mommy and daddy to be disappointed in me. cos they have such high expectations. and moms always like 'i know that you're the most sensible one' argh the pressure oh well x2. sooo i'd better start studying hard. and in no time, my exams will be OVER!! :D and i'll be back in sg and i'll see dal and ahnu. and have a massive sleepover. and go shopping everywhere. and buy lots of new clothes and bags and jewellery and shoes and everything. and get my hair done. and maybe go to bali. and maybe kl. and yayness it will just be amazingly fun to the max!
@ 3:30 AM
  lalalalala. at vaness's house now. :D SLEEPOVER! okay...i know i haven't been online for a really long time... i'm sorry :( really really. :'( just had pizza and kit kats and chips. so full :( naughty me. too much food. argh. i'm so confused about so many things. i need to sort them out. but how? dunno. she said she blocked and deleted him. but he's still on her contact list. should i confront her about it? or just leave it? i dunno. wat am i gonna do?! argh! i think i should see a psychologist. would make life so much easier. i'd be able to sort so many things out. but how?
Monday, September 25, 2006 @ 1:42 AM
  damn. first day of school. :D how fun. nah it was horrible. my so-called "friends" are not talking to me. dunno why. they ignore me all through recess and lunch and then during tutor she comes up to me and acts as if i'm her best friend. well...if i was your best friend... then why do you treat me like a piece of trash? i'm sick of it. either treat me with some respect or forget about it. so sick of people stepping all over me. i'm so sick of crying over all this crap. i wish i could be home right now... with my mommy.. she's the only person that really cares.
Saturday, September 23, 2006 @ 3:19 AM
  lalalala. boredness. should i eat? or should i not? i'm hungry lol. very hungry... haven't eaten the whole day... but there's nothing to eat lol. i could prolly find something... if i tried lol ooowww so HUNGARY. oooww i want nutella and rice bubbles.. maybe i should have some lol. dunno i'll think about it.
Friday, September 22, 2006 @ 3:48 AM
  ARGH i'm mad. i don't want to be... especially with her. but i am. i can't help it. you promised. do you remember that day when you were begging chris and me to let you buy ciggies 'for the very last time' i almost didn't give you the money for them. but i did in the end... cos i believed you and trusted you... i really thought you were gonna stick to your word. and that's the only reason why i gave you the money that night. and wat do you do? you just throw it all away. and the worst thing is... that your not stopping. i wouldnt be mad if you took one or two and then stopped cos you realised your mistake... but you're just carrying on. you remember the promise don't you? if you start smoking again...i'm no longer your friend. you agreed to that. so don't get all upset now that its happening. i keep my promises.. they mean a lot to me i don't just make promises like that. i hate it when ppl break their promises... its hurtful... cos it shows that you dun care.
Thursday, September 21, 2006 @ 4:51 PM
  boredness. gonna go into town in a bit... gosh i hate the weather outside its so windy! dun feel like goin out in this weather. oh well i gotta do it. i'm so gonna finish my history hw today... only got a little bit left. then tmr i'm gonna do some stuff in my art journal... and do some math... got a test comin up. yayness. well i better do some history now.. i've got 15 mins till i get ready cyas
@ 2:46 AM
  herro. just got back from town with row: :D had funness... we watched material girls... it was pretty good lol... funny to da max!:D but yeahhh... she's gone ice skating and joyce and stuff now.. i'm not much of an ice skater lol so i didn't go hahaa. damn i wish some people would just drop the whole 'no she doesn't hate you and we don't hate you' thing. i mean its alright if you guys don't like me... i'd rather you were truthful than putting on a fake facade. oh well. their loss for sticking with me.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006 @ 5:28 PM
  lalalalala... so friggin bored. woke up at 9 30. FUCK why the hell did i wake up so early? i can't get back to bed so i'm here. haha. last night was sooo much fun!! LOLNESS:D you know row being row...'I WANNA DRINK' lol. so we got some vodka from her friend... and yeahh we had a few shots. lol. after that... i was done haha. nahh not really... just tipsy haha x2. was lying on christie's bed reading her magazines... don't remember wat i was reading lol.. i remember laughing a lot. and row was like 'cmon don't fall asleep we'll go back soon' then she put the mag back for me... cos i couldnt LOL. then when i got up hahaha stumbling... walked to the door and started laughing don't know wat was so funny lol. and it was raining so row was like 'cmon pretty run' and i was just laughing and walking LOLNESS. then got back to the room eventually and erwin saw me and started laughing.. i remember her expression SO FUNNY :D then remember row saying 'wait till i tell chris lol'. hahaha. ooh and we were listening to that funny thing that darryl sent row...hahah why some names should be banned. LOLNESS that was a fun night. we still got loads of vodka left over though. hehe...
@ 4:25 AM
  yoyoyo. so bored lol. erwin's gonna kick me off her computer in a few mins. damness. oh well... i'll find something to do. i think. lolness. boring day today. maybe i shouldve gone to kelsey's house... nah. i would've ruined it for her. she's mad at me. she was yelling at me on msn today. i dunno wat to think anymore. sabino said it was nothin...that she didn't mean it. i hope she didn't. cos it hurt like all hell. low self-esteem... WELL ITS ABOUT TIME YOU FIGURED THAT OUT HUH? took you long enough... i know i'm never gonna change. it's too hard. i wish i could. i really do. at least i'd be happy then.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006 @ 7:43 PM
  okay... gotta contemplate: should i a) go to town with row and joyce b) stay in the bh and finish all my hw so that i can have fun the rest of the hols? umm... let me think for a bit... i think i'm gonna go with (b) lol. yeahh i just have to finish my clickview questions for history.. do the maps... finish the last question for anna wood... do a little math..which can be done tmr too. and yeahh some art in my art journal. and i'm done. yipeeeee. lol i better get started soon.
Monday, September 18, 2006 @ 6:07 PM
  HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY:D i think i'm gonna call you in a sec.... your 49! hehe have an awesome birthday sorry i can't be there... oh well.. i think i'm gonna walk to sandy bay today yeahh i will its gd exercise. hahaha. BUDDY'S BACK :D yayness. so happy. finally i'm not gonna be bored. haha. but everyone's sleeping now so i'm alone. :( oh well...
Saturday, September 16, 2006 @ 5:35 PM
  great. now everyone thinks i'm a crybaby looking for attention. isn't that awesome? :D you know...you said that i'm not the only one that gets upset when i cry.. well its your fault for caring about me. i think i'm better off without any friends. i mean, some people don't even want to be my friend there has to be a reason for that... its prolly cos i'm such a loser. i mean, people hardly talk to me... even my own friends sometimes... and i don't know why. its like once they're around guys...your on your own. they turn into the biggest sluts ever. why? i don't get it. and it hurts so bad.
@ 5:23 AM
  life is like a big chocolate cake; you love it for a bit...but after a while of having it, you get sick of it. i'm sick of life. i can never be happy. it's just not meant to be for me. i'm never ever gonna be happy. i can bet you on that one. in 10 years time... i'm prolly gonna be as sad...or even sadder than i am right now. maybe i'll even be dead. that would be the best i think. at least i would be at peace. finally.
Thursday, September 14, 2006 @ 6:28 PM
  i really wish i was dead right now. i don't see the point in living anymore. "leave me alone please..." you started all this bullshit so don't blame it on me! all i've ever been to you is nice! blocked me? fine. who needs you anyway? i was crying from 7 till 11 last night. i hope you feel proud.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006 @ 6:54 PM
  :'( okkkk... i feel like shit right now... i'm so confused. i think i've made a mistake. it's not that i don't like him or anything... its just that...i can never see the both of us as anything more than friends. it just won't work out... and he's not really my type...i mean yeahh i was able to talk to him and stuff..but he's just not what i'm looking for in a guy. but i do like him. just as a friend only. how do i tell him? he's madly in love with me. ARGH and i'm so friggin sleepy. i'm not even in sleepover mode now. i dunno if i'll go. i feel sick. honestly. damness... i'm ruining everyone's day.
Monday, September 11, 2006 @ 10:48 PM
  just watched 'just friends' LOL its the funniest movie EVER. it's really gd. went to town in the morning and saw the prettiest dress in dotti... i wanna buy it. it's only $29.95..which is WAY cheaper than most of the dresses there... i might go dress shopping on saturday.. look for a pretty dress to add to my small collection. LOLNESS. anyways, i'm gonna go do some homework now. i should cos i've been lazy these hols. but fuck i'm so bored. oh well... study time! :D
@ 1:31 AM
  hahaha. today was nice. we went to the boat park in town... and hung out for the longest time...just talking and making fun of the little kids lol. then he kissed me. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH. omg. it felt good hahaha.
Saturday, September 09, 2006 @ 11:51 PM
  Boring! :( Help... I think i'm gonna die! honestly. I'm so so so so so so bored! there's absolutely nothing to do. oh well. at least i'm gonna go into town tomorrow. window shopping funness. :D no one interesting is online. i've been cut out of civilisation! i seriously am gonna die lolness. help me.
@ 12:56 AM
  today was a pretty gd day BIG SMILEY FACE :D got up at like 9-ish. had brekkie. took a nice hot shower. got dressed. caught a bus to town with BUDDY walked around cat and fiddle..supre, dotti, ice and i bought credit:D then walked over to the cinema... met him. we decided to watch garfield 2 after lots of debate lol. i have trouble making up my mind:S lolness. yeahhh it was good. he's really easy to talk to. we talked about so many things. it wasn't like with corey... where i found it soooo difficult to talk cos i was so shy around him... but with seb its so easy. hahaha... he put his arm around me at the beginning of the movie.. and we cuddled the whole time.. after the movie he walked me to the bus stop. and he sat with me till like 4-ish i took the bus back after that. he's really awesome. he's soooo tall lol. cute too;) lolness. that's just a bonus. he's awesome. :D
Friday, September 08, 2006 @ 1:44 AM
  omg i'm ready to kill. corey camm is a fugly, evil reencarnation of the devil. i can't stand him. i wish he were dead. go kill yourself corey camm... it's not like you haven't tried before. arghness. some people just piss me off. people who lie. people who talk behind other people's backs. people who talk in a different language and think that i don't understand what they're saying about me. people who have to bag other people up to make themselves feel better. and loads of other sorts of people. deal with your issues in other ways. if you don't like me... if you've got a problem with me... come to me. and deal with me. srsly i don't bite... and i'd be glad to hear what you don't like about me... its called 'self-improvement'
Tuesday, September 05, 2006 @ 12:10 AM
  herro there. haven't written in here for a while. i think. oh well... it's just been highs and lows for me these past few days... i honestly don't know whats gotten into ahnu. i mean, i'm talking to her for the first time in months..and she just starts having a go at me. she says i'm not bothered. well honestly i don't think she's bothered about me. she says i don't email her. she never emails me. and i know i should have emailed her..i really was going to... now she's bagging me up about the drinking...well i don't drink a lot. two vodka shots...a bottle of sky blue...and shared a can of cola rum with row.. that's all the alcohol i've ever touched. i've never gotten drunk. i only drink once in a while. wat's wrong with that? so pissing off... and she says that i'm not telling her things...well i haven't had time ahnu...your never online when i'm online...i hardly ever get a chance to talk to you. and i miss you guys so much...you don't know how much i do.. ahnu and dal..you guys are my best friends EVER. i've been through the good and the bad times with you guys...you've always stuck by me..even if i get depresed and lonersome and annoying sometimes. you guys don't know how much i treasure you guys as friends. you know, you told me the other day that i should look at dal's life before i say anything about mine? well i have. i know its upsetting and sad that her mom died...i don't ever know how i'd survive with my mom. and don't think that i don't care. i do. i cried the night i found out that she died. i really did. i was really upset..and what made me even more upset was that i couldnt be there...it really sucked. i wanted to be there for dal at that time..but i couldnt and i felt horrible. but i still tried my best to support dal through those times. everyone did. she got so much support from her friends and the people that love her. all i want from you is support. but you seem angry. i don't know why. i just want support from my "best friends" especially now. and it hurts to see that they're not willing to give me any
Saturday, September 02, 2006 @ 4:59 PM
  double shitty shitty bang bang. last night was the best night EVER... [note the sarcasm] went over to salamanca to try to get into isobar didn't work. went over to irish murphy's didn't work. then we walked all the way from salamanca to the casino and snuck in by the back door. didn't work either. we got caught and we were told to leave. so we didn't really know what to do. so we came back. sooo bloody tired. walking in my stilletos from salamanca to wrest point. i almost died. got back at around 3. found out that erwin had nicely forgotten to put my bedsheets on for me. *mental slap* then went to bed. got up at 9 cos i gotta go for house plays now. how fun. yayness. and i don't think i can go to the bbq cos kelsey's dad won't take me...and i dunno how to get there by myself. wat a splendid day.
Friday, September 01, 2006 @ 6:49 PM
  shitty shitty bang bang. hahaha just felt like typing that in. lolness. anyways, i'm very proud of myself todayness. yesterday i finished editing my interview transcript and then i finished answering one of the history questions. finished my math homework and attemtped my health homework. today i finished my other history question and typed out my clickview questions and did some math. yayness x2. gonna go out with erwin later. mommy said i could buy a new top and stuff like that cos my clothes don't really fit my much anymore. gonna see kelseyness in salamanca and say hi. then will go shopping...wanna buy a pair of jeans..and top...credit..and if i still have money...maybe a bra. haha really bored right now. i don't feel like doing any homework...and my computer isn't working...so i can't listen to my music..and my ipod is dead..and i can't charge it.. shitness. i need to start fixing stuff... OMG THE SCARIEST THING HAPPENED LAST NIGHT! was talking to my parents on the phone... and then in the background i hear mom say 'uncle dhara said you have a boyfriend' and in my mind i was like 'WTF I'M SO DEAD' and i was like 'no i don't have one' and dad was like yeahhh uncle dhara told us and i was like 'noooo i don't have one lol' and he laughed and said 'nahhh i'm just teasing you' and i was like 'OMG' wat if he did tell them? how the hell did he find out? prolly dr. verma..from mrs devine or someone.. shitness. hope nothin bad comes out.. i don't even have a boyfriend at this very moment. i'm SINGLE. always happens at the wrong time..lolness
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