everyday... its getting harder and harder to hold on. i'm afraid that one day i'm gonna lose it... i don't wanna do something stupid. but i'm afraid that i just might. i have to keep my phone away from me.. cos i'm afraid that i might just dial up my mom and tell her everything. i have to stay away from the kitchen... cos i'm afraid that i might binge on everything in there. i have to put on a fake 'happy voice' everytime i talk to my mom... cos i dun want her to find out. that i'm such a failure that i can't do anything right. that i'm a coward that i can't make friends. that i'm not really smart. that i'm fat. that i'm prolly the worst daughter a mother could ask for.
i wish i was dead. every night before i go to bed, i pray that i won't wake up the next day. that i'd just die peacefully in my sleep.
i wish i could talk to someone. someone who really wanted to listen to me. not because they have to. someone who won't judge me by wat they hear. someone who would love me for who i am.
i almost brought a penknife to my hand the other day. everyone was in the room too... i'm surprised no one noticed. i almost cut deep enough too.. almost. i couldnt even do it. i'm such a coward.
i'm a useless piece of crap.
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♥Prettylicious
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Loserific Chocomocholicious Dal.Ahnu.Guri.
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yep that about sums up my life:)
